Holonews 6

Holonet Galactic News HGN (between Episode VII and VIII)

Headline News:

Insurrection Brought Down by Imperial Navy

The Imperial Navy managed to track down a seditious fleet of vessels assembled from various local navies. Imperial Intelligence revealed that they planned to launch a coup to subjugate several sectors and rule them as a military dictatorship. We had the opportunity to interview Admiral Gilder Varth who orchestrated the engagement.

HGN: Admiral, what led to your being able to find and neutralize this threat? Months ago you were reported to be a traitor and arrested.

Varth: Some time ago Imperial Intelligence discovered that there was a plot to stage a coup by several worlds within the Empire. I sent information to some of the known dissidents and then staged a mock imprisonment with the hopes that they would ‘rescue’ me. I fed them false information until they assembled their fleet. Then I made my move and an Imperial Interdictor trapped them along with a fleet including our newest Star Destroyers. We destroyed over three-quarters of their fleet and the stragglers have been cut off.

HGN: What did the Empire do to neutralize the larger threat?

Varth: Knowing what worlds were rebellious we took steps to protect the people from their leaders. Chandrila and several of the other players have all been toppled and Imperial governors given total superiority over the local political system. Alderaan agreed to dismantle all of their military operations in lieu of occupation but their governor has also been given much broader powers.

HGN: What can you tell us about the battle itself?

Varth: Superior naval doctrine, training, and equipment won the day. The opposing fleet was made up largely of obsolescent ships. Still, I do not want to understate the dangers that a rogue group with capital-scale weaponry can do. The Empire is looking into further restricting who is allowed to own and operate such vessels. We are also continuing the expansion of the Imperial Navy. It is this kind of activity that makes it obvious that a strong military is needed now more then ever.

HGN: The Senate’s response has been mixed. Mon Mothma has spoken out against these actions, demanding hard evidence of the fleet’s nefarious intent. Your thoughts?

Varth: My testimony is on the record. They had nefarious intent. I find it very suspicious that some factions in the Senate would take the word of convicted traitors over the word of our Intelligence services and my own testimony.

HGN: Thank you Admiral. The Empire is still investigating these incidents and has not ruled out the possibility of further arrests. While the Empire has not released information on those captured in the battle several factions in the Senate have united behind the idea that any future arrests would be required to have their case heard in a public trial.

Zel Sonn Station Destroyed, Faulty Reactors Blamed

Zel Sonn station was recently destroyed, it’s orbital thrusters knocked out due to faults in the system. MAHIG is demanding a full investigation and is petitioning that in future all stations constructed should be required to have a thermal exhaust port leading directly to the main reactor to prevent future reactor malfunctions.

A few of the survivors have blamed the Balanced Equpped Animal Response teams for the problem, citing their heavy use of E-Webs, missiles, and mini-proton torpedos within the station itself. MAHIG denies these claims and cites the rancor sightings onboard the station as proof that such weapons were barely adequate. They argue that if the BEAR patrol had access to thermal detonators and internal turbolaser emplacements they could have saved the station.

MAHIG has made great steps towards incorporation into COMPNOR. They are considering their safety requests and have expressed support for their reactor ventilation suggestions.

Coruscant Bans Dangerous Animals from Planet

The Empire has recently banned the use of all slave Wookie labor on planet except for military use. Recently a few rogue wookies whose owners were lax in controlling them have caused large-scale devastation.

One bystander during a battle with Coruscant rapid response forces reported that a Wookie ‘with a huge axe’ chopped an assault airspeeder to pieces. These and other incidents have led to this ban. The creatures are just too animalistic and dangerous to be allowed on planet.

The Empire has encouraged all Wookie owners to leave their slaves at home while visiting or place them in an orbiting kennel being set up by the Empire for storage. Check local datalistings for pricing. Reservations are recommended.

Speeder Rental Costs on the Increase

Due to increased vandalism, damage, and irresponsible use of rented speeders costs are on the rise with more and more businesses wanting more money before the speeder is released.

Said one industry specialist: "People are treating these vehicles as if they belonged to them and damage is accepted. Some agencies have put in vocal warning systems that inform the driver when what they are doing is dangerous but this has done little to curb the problem. Whether they’re eaten by Krayt dragons, shot up by pirates, crashed into buildings after being loaded with bombs, or whatever the problem is getting out of hand.

The owner of Humboldt Rentals said: “A recent example emphasizes the problem. I rented to a group of visitors recently arrived on Coruscant. I asked a small fee and expected them to pay the rest on their return. I thought nothing of it until it was a few days late in being returned. We tried to track it down only to find the locator beacon was disabled. Then we found out that some lunatic parked it in Imeici Spire, that COMPNOR building terrorists took down. WHY DID THEY PARK IT THERE?”


Opening of New Luxury Repulsortrain

The galactic celebrity Alya Aldrete of Alderaan recently completed her new luxury repulsortrain service connecting the major cities of Alderaan. Filled with all of the latest in conveniences and luxury accomodations the grand opening is considered likely to be the event of the year. While she has banned media involvement with the actual maiden voyage we have learned that dignitaries and celebrities have been invited to the grand opening party.

Many are clamoring for tickets and there are speculations about undercover reporters sneaking aboard or even assassins trying to take someone out tied to the recently suppressed insurrection. When asked about this Lady Aldrete laughed, “With the security screenings we have in place, no cameras are getting smuggled in. With the exception of the bodyguards of Imperial dignitaries there will be no weapons allowed either. Even if someone did get a camera aboard my engineers tell me the ionic rails we use will block out all communications. No one is going to spoil the privacy of this party and it is going to be the best party I’ve ever thrown.” She then blew a kiss to the camera and left the scene.


Swoop Racing Revitalized

Since the days of the Old Republic swoop racing has been a dull, regimented affair. The swoops run the tracks one at a time and are required only to shift gears at the appropriate time, hit accelerator pads, and dodge obstacles and then compare times. The sport became boring to watch as people watched stopwatches more then people.

No longer. The major tracks have decided to take a lesson from pod racing and are running longer, more dangerous tracks that require you to outfly others on the track to win. Said one spokesman: “The days where a nobody with a fast swoop who’s managed to learn how to shift and dodge incredibly dull obstacles can become a sector champion are over. Now the race is one of real skill.”


Darth Herrington’s Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droid Emporium Moonbase is offering 25% off if you buy more then one Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droid. We’ve been overstocked since opening and want to pass savings on to the consumer. Droids can be modified to sell anything. Droids can also be modified to scare children, start fires, and throw rocks at passing speeders while howling obscenities. BUY NOW!!!!

Construction and Mining Operatives needed in the Deep Core for Imperial construction and mining operations. Requires extensive six month background check but pay is good. Graduates of COMPNOR’s sub adult program preferred. Non-humans not wanted.

Holonews 6

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